Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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