I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
