the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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