So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
