I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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