and you said cock pushups were impossible
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
