Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
