I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
