hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
tell me about the fingering
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