Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
