Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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