how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
