u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
