Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dicks are not precious.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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