I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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