i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Soap is not a condiment
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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