shes about as inviting as chlamydia
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
