My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize