i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
