nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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