So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
