and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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