I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
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we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
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I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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