I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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