Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
