I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
