This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
