we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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