In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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