Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
