Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she told me i tasted like america
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
