I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Shame is for Republicans.
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