remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
