Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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