it wasn't lemon gatorade
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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