Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I need to wash the frat house off of me
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
