Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
