Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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