i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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