thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
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my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
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if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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