I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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