I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
