Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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