He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
