You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
my poor anus
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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