I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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