FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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