It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
