I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize