Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My dick has a subreddit
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
