...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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