Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize