ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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