Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
