i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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