Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
