it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
