You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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