Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
