Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize