Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
