Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
