he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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